Friendship A Deeper Look Into Relationships Sociology Essay

Friendship A Deeper Look Into Relationships Sociology EssayLike armor, good friends slay us or so invincible, capable of warding off the blows intent occasionally deals us. The need for social bonding and familiarity is established at birth and evolves from then on. Although it is recognized and learned at a very small age, friendship flush toilet arrive a different meaning for everyone. You may choose your friends based on affection, disclosure, or sh atomic number 18d values and interests. Since friendship is so common and natural, the variations and types of friendships as well as the different ways we interact inwardly those friendships, ar often over-looked and frequently non paid attention to. Within this paper I pull up stakes examine the main types of friendships human-beings ordinarily experience, very(prenominal)- finish friendships and cross-sex friendships. I will also be examining how we interact within these friendships, the similarities and differences be tween them, and will be providing examples to help you gain a better insight on the topics. Since friendship is such a prevalent part of life, it is important to fully understand why we form the kinds we do and what makes these affinitys march for us because by being aw be of how different friendships function may help your relationships be much prospered in the future.Same-Sex FriendshipsFriendship in general has been the focus of a con stancerable get along of studies however well-nigh of these studies support in the first place focussed on same-sex friendships. A same-sex friendship is a relationship where both individuals have the same sexual origin. This would constitute potent-male and female-female friendships. This is the most common type of friendship wo workforce and men will usually experience and at that place be many similarities and differences discourseed between the two types of relationships.DifferencesA categorization of differences have been investig ated within male-male and female-female friendships, besides by far the most prominent difference studied would be that womens friendships tend to be more expressive, stimulated, intimate, richer, and include more self-disclosure than mens whereas mens tend to be more instrumental and ar task, goal-, and activity- orient (Wright Scalon, 1991 Monsour, 1992 Duck Wright, 1993 Brehm, 1992). Womens friendships are represented as intimate relationships in which sharing feelings and talking are the most prevalent activities. custodys friendships are represented as ones in which sharing activities such as sports or work dominate interaction (Walker, 1994). Womens friendships are face to face they talk, cry unitedly, share secrets, and that is what makes their friendship satisfying. Mens friendships are side by side and almost always revolve around some type of activity. For men, it is the doing, not the talking, that makes a friendship close (Floyd, 2009). The talking that does go on within female-female relationships compared to male-male relationships could not be more different. Women will almost always exchange feelings and talk roughly problems and men will discuss sports, work, or what is hazard in their immediate lives. An important difference between same-sex friendships is that female ones tend to be more oriented towards emotional intimacy than male friendships (Dickens Perlman, 1981). Men will generally be less physically doting with former(a) men (hugging, putting arms around each new(prenominal), kissing) because they know that this behavior goes against cultural norms. darn taking gender roles into consideration, women are technically raised to be more open and nurturing, whereas men are raised to be masculine and competitive. icon ExamplesOne example of media that displays how women interact within female friendships is the produce movie Sex and the City, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon. This mov ie follows four best friends in Manhattan, who share their travels in life and love and their daily discussions of romance and sexuality. In the movie Sarah Jessica Parker plays Carrie Bradshaw, A New York writer who has a tug on sex, love, and relationships. She is at long last getting married to her on-again off-again boyfriend of years. When he stands her up the day of her wedding, its her three girlfriends who are left to console and support her, being there for her every step of the way through a long, dramatic recovery process. With the help of her girlfriends, Carries life eventually returns to normality. As they are sitting discussing their hardships and the importance of friendship, Samantha says, We do a deal ages ago. Men, babies, doesnt matter. Were soul matesAnother example of media that displays how men interact within male friendships is the movie Old School, starring Will Ferrell, Luke Wilson and Vince Vaughn. Luke Wilson plays Mitch, a man with a good job, a hous e, and a healthy intimate relationship or so he thinks. Until one day Mitch catches an early leakage home to find tabu his girlfriend has not merely been faithful over the years. When Mitch addresses his friends, Frank and Beanie, they discuss how they have all come to a crossroads in their lives. They hatful choose to be trustworthy adults with wives, families and steady jobs or they can postpone adulthood in favor of returning to college and start a fraternity with all the fun and none of the education. Instead of the three friends addressing their problems head on or help each other come to terms with the complications in their lives, they closet their feelings and do not find a proper solution. at present, the majority of their time is consumed in the activity of starting a fraternity together, centered on drinking, women and living a carefree life. As you can see, these movies depict same-sex friendships between females and same-sex friendships between males very differe ntly.Similarities gender differences that exist between male-male friendships and female-female friendships have clearly been exhibit in the literature but lately, scholars have questioned its magnitude (Fehr, 2000). Research emphasizes the fact that both men and women look for more or less the same things from their same-sex friendships, they exclusively accomplish getting it in different ways. Male friendships are not inferior to female friendships. Men may not be physically or emotionally expressive, but they also derive enceinte support from their friendships (Zaslow, 2010). The fact that womens and mens relationships differ does not mean that friendships are more important to one sex than the other. It is believed that because women share and express feelings more openly with each other, womens friendships are more satisfying than mens are. Research has demonstrated that women and men report equal levels of closeness in their same-sex friendships (Floyd, 1995). What do diff er between the male-male and female-female relationships are scarcely the characteristics that make those specific friendships close. For women, the key characteristic is shared conversation for men, its shared activity (Floyd, 2009).Movie Examples cardinal movies that express similar female-female friendships and male-male friendships is The Sandlot and Now and Then. The Sandlot, starring Tom Guiry as Scotty Smalls and Mike Vitar as Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez, is somewhat(predicate) the summertime escapades of a group of local baseball buddies. These small t knowledge baseball players are young neighborhood friends who grew up together. They also all have one common interest that keeps their friendships thriving, their love of baseball, which is what their summer adventures are mainly focused around. These boys are all very different, and throughout the movie are not physically or emotionally expressive towards one another, but remain friends through the years manifestly beca use of the shared activities they enjoy doing with one another. Later on in the movie, after the boys made the transition into adulthood, sesame Rodriguez becomes a professional baseball player and Scotty Smalls is a sports commentator for one of his games. After Benny hits a home run ball to win the game he looks up at Scotty and gives him a cast and Scotty looks back at him smiling and nods with approval. These shows the men are still friends from childhood, and their friendship is still mainly focused around the shared activity and the memories they have playing together many years ago.The movie Now and Then, starring Christina Ricci, Thora Birch, Gabby Hoffman and Ashley Aston Moore, is about four inseparable childhood friends who experience one of the most consequential and dramatic summers of their lives together. They are also neighborhood friends who grew up together in the same area. Their summer started out normal with attempting to save up money to buy a tree house and tell-all truth or dare sessions, and then suddenly their not-so-innocent world of childhood adventure was cracked by the reality of split up and a death in one of their families. Although they are young, they are there for each other in overcoming these tragedies together and giving each other a shoulder to lean on through it all. Experiencing these hardships together makes their bonds stronger than ever and leads them to make a pact one summer day stating that they would always be there for each other, no matter what happened in life, all for one and one for all. They stayed true to their pact later(prenominal) in life, and remained in contact. They met back in their hometown whenever necessary to talk, to cry, or just share laughs and reminisce about old memories when they needed a friend. These girls remained friends later in life not because of the activities they shared together, but mainly because of the emotional bond they developed with one another. These two movies depict similar same-sex relationships because they are both focused on childhood friends in which a strong bond still remains throughout adulthood, but the reasons of why the bonds still remain later in life differ from the female friendships to the male friendships.Cross-Sex FriendshipsA cross-sex friendship is where one individual in the relationship is a man and one individual in the relationship is a woman. Cross-sex friendships are a relatively new concept and have only existed for about 100 years (Swain, 1992). Changes in our society have made the existence of cross-sex friendships possible. These friendships can be hard-fought to establish, and pose a number of different challenges than same-sex friendships.ProblemsCross-sex friendships can be ticklish at times. OMeara (1989) presented four challenges that move on at some point during a friendship between two individualsof the opposite sex. First, the individuals need to introduce the emotional bond that exists between them. Th ey need to address the bond, and clearly distinguish between each other what it is. The feelings that exist between two cross-sex friends can be confusing and hard to establish between amative or non-romantic feelings. This is important to address in the beginning of your relationship due to the fact if it goes ignored, it can mystify your relationship in the future. The second challenge is the added concern of sexual attraction (OMeara 1989). Sexuality becomes an issue in cross-sex friendships. Added sexual dimension in a friendship can cause problems, for this reason many make the decision not to involve sexuality in their friendship in order to preserve the relationship. The 3rd challenge that OMeara (1989) presents is inequality and power. He states that men are often seen as dominant in our society. This can often pose problems in cross-sex friendships because the two individuals must find a way to feel as though they are equal. The fourth challenge described by OMeara (1989 ) is public relationships. He states that cross-sex friends often have to deal with how they are viewed by others, which results in them often having to defend the status of their friendship. Many find it difficult to accept the fact that a man and woman can have a platonic relationship.Movie ExampleA movie that accurately describes some of the problems that arise from cross-sex friendships is My Best Friends Wedding, starring Julia Roberts, Dermont Mulroney and Cameron Diaz. In this scoot Julia Roberts plays Julianne Porter a New York food critic who has a longtime male friend Michael ONeil (Dermont Mulroney). They have remained friends since college and lead what seemed to be a very normal platonic relationship. They talked often about relationships, family, and enjoyed doing many of the same activities together. That all changed one day when Michael called Julianne to tell her he had recently become engaged. While taking this nurture in she realizes she loves Michael herself an d sets out to sabotage his wedding with only days before the ceremony. Her tactics fail and Julianne finally has to accept she has lost her love and longtime friend to another woman.SuccessesThere are also reasons that cross-sex friendships are successful and rewarding relationships for both parties, although it is not as common as the problems and challenges that can arise from these friendships. any(prenominal) researchers have proposed that male individuals initiate cross-sex friendships to have access to sex and females initiate cross-sex friendships for protection (Bleske-Rechek Buss, 2001). Some cross-sex friends lure sexuality into the friendship. The added sexual dimension in a friendship can be a idyllic aspect within the relationship, but can also cause many problems if you are not careful. Cross-sex relationships are valued because they provide a chance for men to develop friendships with women because they are looking for more emotional and physical closeness. They m ay want to develop a friendship in search for more self-disclosure and more conversation about personal subjects. Chances are they do not experience this within their male friendships because they claim their male friends will be of little assistance or they fear seeming effeminate. Women, on the other hand, might be looking to form friendships with men in order to have a relationship that requires less intimacy, less personal talk, and more of an activity-based friendship.Movie ExampleAlthough I am sure examples of successful cross-sex friendships exist in reality, the majority of cross-sex friendships displayed in the media almost always end in a convoluted situation. Usually one member of a platonic friendship ends up wanting to be romantically involved with the other. Therefore it was challenging to find a valid example of a successful cross-sex friendship, and I did not succeed in uncovering one.ConclusionAfter discussing the similarities and differences within same-sex frien dships, as well as cross-sex friendships and how they can be rewarding or problematic I hope that you have gained a broader taste within the complicated subject of friendship. It is inevitable that we all need and strive for friendship, and by looking deeper into a certain area of friendship you may find it can actually answer many commonly asked questions or help resolve a problem you may be having within one of your own personal relationships. This should assist you in constructing your meaning of friendship as well as determining exactly how you are influenced by your friendships and how your friendships are influenced by you.